Once upon a time...

In a galaxy far, far away...


I wish I could use this iconic starting line to describe the perfectly harrowing experience of another me watching a perfectly inane movie in an alternative universe


...but No. It was me and I suffered. 


The weapon of mass delusion in question is none other than the recently released 'This Means War' 

The plot is pretty simple. Boy meet girl, girl meet another boy, girl can't chose. There! That wasn't it so bad...a funny and slick production.

Except for a few things. Like the girl (a very sexy Reese Witherspoon) purposefully dangles herself before her suitors because she can't decide who to date (awww...). I mean, if a girl's spoilt for choice then why can't she make the most of it. 

But it really isn't her fault, cause the boys are actually CIA-Men-in-(Savile-Row)-Black-suits. That means they can access her secret files, order a full surveillance, just so they tailor their OTT* attempts to woo her to her minutest preference. Invasion of privacy anyone?

So, how DOES a girl choose in such a circumstance? The sex tie-breaker, of course.

Isn't it simple? A few seconds of ecstasy is absolutely enough for anyone to decide who to spend the rest of their lives with.

Then, there is her best girlfriend who...erm...let's not talk about her, shall we?

And guess what? She settles for the playboy. Woo-hoo!

Maybe I'm being too hard here. Maybe my expectations from a chick-flick were too high. But maybe, my disappointment might not have been so acute had the movie not been so utterly devoid of reality.

"So", you may say, "this lady thinks gratuitous sex does not exist? And friends-with-benefits is just a byline somewhere?" 

No! But love and true love, at that, does not work like this. Even if it is a movie, there is SOME element of truth somewhere...Take "The Proposal" for instance. There was a lot of faff, but there were moments of truth especially where Sandra Bullocks character chooses the moral high road and calls of the wedding. It brings out the humanity of the person...

Maybe, I might have still enjoyed "This Means War". If, it had, along with an (A) certificate also a statutory warning "To enjoy this movie, leave your brains behind"

* OTT= Over The Top